Photo: Getty Images
Regina King is speaking out for the first time about her son's death.
On Thursday (March 14), King appeared on Good Morning America where she discussed her son, Ian Alexander Jr. who died at 26 by suicide in January 2022.
"I'm a different person, you know, now than I was Jan. 19," King told GMA's Robin Roberts. "Grief is a journey, you know? I understand that grief is love that has no place to go."
King went on to explain her son's struggles with his mental health.
"When it comes to depression, people expect it to look a certain way and they expect it to look heavy," the actress said. "And people expect that … to have to experience this and not be able to have the time to just sit with Ian's choice, which I respect and understand, you know, that he didn't wanna be here anymore, that's a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience, did not live Ian's journey."
The Oscar winner admitted that she was "so angry with God" as she watched Ian struggle.
"You know, why would that weight be given to Ian?" King said.
King revealed that she still struggles with guilt years after her son's death.
"Sometimes, you know, a lot of guilt comes over me," she said. "When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, 'What could I have done so that wouldn't have happened?'"
"I know that I share this grief with everyone. But no one else is Ian's mom, you know? Only me," she continued. "And so, it's mine. And the sadness will never go away. It'll always be with me. And I think I saw somewhere, the sadness is a reminder of how much he means to me, you know?"
Although she's still grieving Ian's death, King said she often feels her son's presence in moments she calls "Ian-spirations."
"I know that it's important to me to honor Ian in the totality of who he is. Speak about him in the present because he is always with me and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us," King said.
"My favorite thing about myself is being Ian's mom," she continued. "And I can't say that with a smile, with tears, with all of the emotion that comes with that. I can't do that if I did not respect the journey."
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